Happy Father's Day

www.equalsharing.com

We All Need Our Fathers

Someone mentioned tonight that I had been quoted in our local "Enterprise Dispatch" newspaper in regard to our June 23 congregation meeting.  I haven't seen the paper yet and couldn't find it at home so I looked online at the newspaper's website but couldn't find it there.  Our newspaper only puts some of its news articles up on line.  I'll need to look for a paper copy! 

Instead, I found this tribute to Fathers' Day.  The original article is at this link. Enjoy!

We all need our fathers
June 7, 2010
by Jenni Sebora

My father has been gone for over seven years now. I often think that I wish our youngest daughter could have met him.

He died when our middle child was of about preschool age, so she has faint memories of him, as well as our oldest child. But our youngest never had the opportunity to meet him. Grandpa lived with us, as did my mother, for the last years of their lives, and he loved to play with my children.

My dad was a patient, kind, and loving man who would help out anyone. He loved to laugh and enjoy life; our youngest would have loved to have shared that laughter with him.

Over this past Memorial Day, my twin brother, his wife and their family, and my husband, myself, and our children enjoyed a get-together on the family farm.

The simple, yet pleasurable fun included tractor and wagon rides, boat rides, a frog hunt, hide-and-seek, a hot dog and marshmallow roast, a campfire with campfire games, and lots of laughter and camaraderie shared. When the evening was winding down, my brother shared a sentiment with me, “Dad would have loved this, he would be happy about this.”

And that is the absolute truth. I think, as a parent, our greatest joys are derived from watching our children enjoy life, happiness, and laughter. We want our children to be happy.

A father, considered by most as the head of the household and the protector of his family, finds great happiness in knowing that his family is safe and happy.

Fathers Day was started as a complement to Mothers Day, to celebrate fatherhood. President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of making it a national holiday. In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson officially proclaimed Fathers Day a national holiday.

It took a while for Fathers Day to be accepted as a holiday. But, we know that fathers are extremely important figures in the lives of children. My father was my guide and provided a foundation of strength yet warmth, wisdom, faith, patience, comfort, and security.

My father had large hands, which my brother attributed to all of the large rocks my mother made him carry and move for all of her rock gardens. Really, those large hands symbolized the security and safety he provided. With those hands, he carried our worries and our joys.

Fathers work and toil, from day to day, for their families. My father did, and my husband does for our family. I believe that a father goes off to work each day with the major goals of serving others and providing for others, for a good greater than themselves.

We need our fathers; our sons and daughters need their fathers; mothers need fathers. A ‘father’ may be a dad, or a grandpa, or a male mentor.

I am forever grateful for my father and the time I had with him. I am also grateful for my husband, the father of our children. I appreciate all that he is to our children, our family, and myself.

Happy Fathers Day to all of the male mentors who provide stability, caring, and support. We need you.

In our home, I don't consider myself "head of the household" any more than my wife.  We make a team with the goal of coming to agreement and serving.  If there is any "headship" it's in the sense of being the most humble servant I can to my wife and family.  My highest goal should be to LOVE and SERVE and "wash feet" as Jesus did (John 13).  But, in any case, dads are extremely important in every life.  Dads, and grandpas, uncles and every man who kids trust should never underestimate the importance of all they are and all they do.  

www.equalsharing.com

Stand in the Gap

Over the years my wife and I have been involved in the lives of many troubled souls, especially teenagers and young adults.  One thing that seems consistent in those who have come to us is that there are difficulties in their families.

Today I heard from yet another person who suffered for years in an inappropriate home environment.  She says it was only when a friend invited her to a sleepover at the friend's home that she learned that the way she grew up was not good.  And though she was removed to a foster home after that, she has continued to suffer the effects of her growing up years throughout her life.  She has been through various treatment programs, has come to peace with God and has led a fairly successful life.  Now she is around retirement age--but still there are still times when the darkness closes in for her and she needs a listening ear and a caring shoulder to cry on.

We all need friends and compassionate Christian helpers in our life.  This is particularly true when there is trouble at home---when shouting and cursing are commonplace, when physical, sexual or emotional abuse occurs, or when our common need for tender loving care is neglected.

Some families, some friends and even some counselors tell those who are suffering that they need to "toughen up" and "handle things" on their own.  The trouble is that often causes pain to be buried deep inside one's mind or heart or soul, and such buried pain causes terrible consequences later on.  This is one of the roots, I believe, of the Biblical concept of "iniquity" carrying through the generations.  Many times, though certainly not always, mental illnesses can be traced to painful circumstances in childhood.  And many times parents who neglect the needs of their children, or hurt them, were victims themselves earlier in their lives.

Usually this suffering is buried at home and kept behind closed doors.  Many times it seems "normal" or "tolerable" to the family themselves or even to outside observers, whether they be extended family members or caring neighbors.  A veneer of respectability often covers the truth.  Families normally want to present a favorable impression to others, and that is particularly true when there is pain.

This is similar, I think to how a callus forms when skin becomes tough and thick "in response to repeated friction, pressure, or other irritation."  The callus can be attached to the whole family system, or to the individual who has suffered, making them tough and hard--causing them to close in upon themselves.

But God calls us to love our neighbors, not to just assume that everything is fine.  God calls us to a life of love--and love does not first just tell someone to "put up and shut up."  First, love listens, cares, and tries to make a difference.  And when no immediate difference is possible, loving people and loving families become refuges for those in pain.  So many people, including the older woman I talked with today, have sincerely benefited from "outsiders" who are just there to care, to listen, to pray--and to provide an example of what a truly caring home can be.

I am so thankful for all who "stand in the gap" for those who suffer for any reason, but particularly for children and youth who are so vulnerable, who have no "rights" of their own, and who are so often misunderstood.  If you are suffering in your family, I encourage you to talk with a caring friend or neighbor.  You need to know you are not alone.

www.equalsharing.com