The proper bearing of love is due to its genuine unselfishness, for love “seeks not its own,” the things that belong to oneself, one’s own pleasure, profit, honor, etc. True love is always unselfish. How easily said, how hard to attain! Selfishness lies at the root of a thousand evils and sins in the world and in the church: between rich and poor, capital and labor, nation and nation, man and man, church member and church member. Cure selfishness, and you plant a Garden of Eden. As when one draws a beautiful face and makes one feature after another stand out until the eyes at last light up the whole and give it complete expression, so in this portrait of love the inspired artist paints the eyes full of unselfishness, seeking in every glance not their own but that which is another’s. Yes, this is love: no envy, no boasting, no pride, no unseemliness because it is altogether unselfish. Not for self (negative) = for others (positive).If you find you lack unselfish love, do not try (or try harder) to be more loving. You may be under attack from the self-centered "spirit of this age," a spirit that permeates and rules hearts and minds all over the world. Admit your weakness to stand under this attack. Tell Jesus you need him. Ask the HOLY SPIRIT to fill you with total love and expect that your life will be different from those around you--different even from those closest to you--even from your own family. There is great reward in surrendering to our Lord.
After all, it is through total love (God's total love in Jesus) that you are saved.